If you want to succeed in life you need to choose a good group of people to be part of your circle of friends (not friendzszs). Sometimes it is useful to know what kind of characters you should be avoiding so here are the most common losers you’ll meet.
1) Poor Me: Generally, you should take advice from people who had it harder than you growing up. Don’t worry this loser always had it harder than everyone else growing up in the dangerous suburb of the Hamptons. No matter what there is something everyone else has that explains why he is so unsuccessful. Women? If only he was 5’10” instead of 5’9” tall. Money? If his mom would just sleep with the admissions officer at Harvard instead of Yale he’d be set. So remember to feel sorry for him, he still doesn’t realize no one cares about him. “Poor me. Poor me.”
2) TattleTale: Remember in elementary school when you were made fun of for trying to out other people? No worries this guy is going to try and do this in real life as well. He’ll be watching over you like a hawk and will throw you under the bus if you slip up even once. If you do be sure he’ll be raising that up the flag pole in seconds. “TattleTale! TattleTale!”
3) I’m a Realist: This guy is somehow the master of probabilities. He knows that there is a 91.7% chance, rounding of course, that what you’re trying to accomplish will not work. Be sure to disregard the fact that the payoff if he’s wrong is $10M because everything worthwhile has a low probability outcome. Nah he’s not pessimistic at all. “What can I say I’m a realist. I’m a realist”
4) People Are Stupid: While it is true that becoming socially intelligent is a bit harder for those with oversized logical brains, this guy seems to believe he “too” smart. Ignore the fact that he’s broke and terrible with women, they are just too stupid. If they are so dumb and you’re so smart why are you broke and going through piles of Kleenex? “I don’t know man people are stupid. People are Stupid.”
5) I’m Too Busy: This is the coolest excuse of them all, they just don’t have time. If you say you have a packed schedule all the sheep will nod in agreement because they also can’t seem to lose weight or get a job because they are so jammed up with drinking on weekends, reading gossip magazines and catching up on the Kardashians. “Why don’t you lift weights? I’m too busy man. I’m too busy”
6) Immediate Results: Another good one is the guy who’s looking for that one trick to fix his life. Six minute abs, twenty minute cardio, a trading program guaranteeing profits… Instead of putting in the time by consistently improving his life through repetition, he is looking for instant results like a drug addict. “If you work hard you can improve. But what can I do for immediate results. I want immediate results now.”
7) I Never Lose: Don’t you worry young man, eventually you’ll be like this guy. You’ll walk up to a girl and she’ll just take off her clothes when you spit some game at her with body odor, a fat gut and no money in the bank. You can get that good. “I never lose man. I have never failed in my life”
8) Not Selfish: Generally, whatever someone believes they are if you treat them like the reverse you’re likely correct. If someone touts on and on about how they are such a “good person” be certain they are far from a good person. Run. They can lie, cheat, steal and back stab you with a machete, but they are “good people”. “I’m not selfish. I love people, I’m not selfish at all”
Hope you didn’t make this list. Did you?